What My Parents Didn't Teach Me
70And what I didn't learn in school
I grew up in a military family with 4 siblings. Everything was provided to us. We grew up for the most part without a care in the world. We lived in free base housing, had free health care, subsidized shopping on base and we knew that dad would get paid even after he retired. We were totally reliant on our parents and the military. That was the model I saw and thought was reality. What I was unintentionally conditioned to believe was that I would always be taken care of.
As we got older some of wanted to work, but dad said no. He wanted us to focus on academics during the school year. During summer months we would travel. As a consequence of the way I grew up, I had no idea what the real world would be like when I turned 18 and moved away.
Don't get me wrong. My parents are great people and I love them. Neither got much instruction in what matters in life and how and why things work so I hold nothing against them for not teaching us about what I will write here about. I just hope this information makes it front of the young people who really need it.
My first experience in getting a job was an absolute joke. Having always been taken care of I truly thought that all I had to do was ask for a job and it would appear. Job application, interview – I had no idea! Another thing I knew nothing about was money management. After all, everything had been provided by our parents and the military. A budget – what was that? Rent – you mean you have to pay for a place to live? Savings – why would anyone need to save money when we are going to be taken care of? A checking account, credit cards, car loans – what the heck are these things and what is an interest rate?
OK, this is starting to sound pretty bad so let me get to the point. I volunteer in schools and see many kids who have no clue about the real world. I see others who are very sharp and whose parents have done a great job preparing them for the real world. After all, what is a parent’s job? To protect our kids, to provide for them, to educate them about character and ethics and to prepare to lose them when they go out on their own. We literally are supposed to prepare them to never need us.
As I just stated, I see well prepared kids and I see kids who will enter the world of college and beyond without a clue. These are the kids who will take up offers for credit cards and instantly get into debt. These are the kids who will not have any idea how to get a job and they will settle for something that will pay them just enough to get by with multiple roommates. These are the kids who may never own a home and will not have funds for retirement. Many may end up on government assistance. This is what I want to change by writing this material.
My goal is to provide material for high school and college age people to help them understand how they can be successful financially and emotionally and so they can live safe lives. I want to give young people the tools and knowledge they need so they will not fall into the many traps that lay ahead.
My first statement to my target audience is this: look out for yourself. Have a me-first attitude. These things sound totally selfish, right? Wrong! If done right, they simply mean that you will never have to depend on anyone else to take care of you and that should be your goal.
I’m not talking about being selfish or never placing the interests of anyone else ahead or yours. Looking out for others is a very noble thing. What I am saying is that if you don’t take care of yourself, nobody else will. If you don’t make sure you have enough money to live and prosper, are not in good health and are not safe, how can you possibly help anyone else? In understand the martyr thing some people have, but I recommend taking such good care of yourself that you can have a significantly positive impact on the lives of others.
More of what my parents didn't tell me
I have written about a variety of things that I never learned from my parents or in school. Kids, whether in high school or college, need to know this stuff. Please share this. Print it, send a link to the page, just do whatever works. If you see one thing that is more critical for your child, focus on that.
Read the truth about credit for kids.
Read why having a savings account is critical.
Learn about understanding and using a checking account.
Read about the importance of making and sticking to a budget.
Read about keeing your identity safe.
Read the truth about health insurance.
Donate
I have researched and written this so kids will be better prepared for life than I was. If you are a parent who will share this with a child and want to make a donation, I would appreciate it. Click to make a small donation.
More To Come
I hope to add more to this in the future, so bookmark this page to come back later. Please share this with any parents of kids who you think can use it. I hope to add:
Getting your first job
Having a successful interview for a scholarship or college
Preparing to start college
If you have a finance website or blog and want to post a link, I would love to see that.
Written by Austin Real Estate Guy, Sam Chapman.
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Thanks for the comment. I hope this information will help a lot of young people. It sure would have helped me when I was younger.
Sounds like my book, Things My Parents Didnt Teach Me
Totally my situation. When i turned 18, not too long ago i felt like being smashed in the head with that big hammer, called reality. I was amazed at how i knew nothing about how this world works. The bad thing is i made a shitload of mistakes because of this, and my parents always told me to use my brain and stop being a stupid fuck. I realized it's not all my fault. My independence is looking so far away right now :/ They still insist on not working and living with them for until i am married or smth. Like that's gonna happen, i am working on leaving now. But really, kids should be prepared for the reality ahead. I wonder how other people don't see this? But now that i think about it, my parents wanted me to avoid the real world as much as i can. I guess no one would pay for their heavenly logic.
2enjoylife8 23 months ago
Yes, being able to fully take care of ourselves brings a sense of self pride. Again, as you were saying, it is not selfish, but it is confidence in what we can accomplish. Being dependent on others lets them pull our strings. Or sometimes we might put too many others before ourselves, and we end up with all the others running our own show. Our life is our own. It's freeing to know how make choices which lead to the kinds of lives we want to live. Living that kind of life in itself is a help to others.
Great thoughts Austinguy!